Thursday, October 15, 2009

Save it for a Sunny Day.

It's winter in the Great White North. It's cold and drippy outside.

Even though I can really get to hate the winter here, it's different this year. In some ways, I look forward to getting all bundled up and going places, getting home and taking off layers of clothes just to cuddle up in bed. I might regret saying this later but : winter can be okay, too. Even in Minnesota. Ask me how I feel in March, though. Guaranteed, I'll be pissed that I live here.

Today I'm going back and forth about going to work. It could be a really long day, it could go really quickly. There's no way of knowing until I actually get there and put myself in the thick of it--not like I have much of a choice, anyway. I much prefer going into work in the morning so I don't have hours and hours to dread it before I ever get on the bus. Usually after mornings like that, dreading the few hours I have to spend at work, I feel just fine once I get there. Sometimes I'm on the verge of tears throughout my shift. It's a craps shoot. Really.

I always hated retail most because my schedule was never regular. This summer at American Eagle, it was tolerable. 9am-1pm everyday. Perfect. I woke up, went to work, got off of work, ran errands, went home, hung out with my family, and then started it all over the next day. This is different. It's irritating.

Now that both Cavan and I have jobs, I think we're going to struggle a bit more to see each other. I still spend the majority of my time thinking about him and the things that we have to look forward to, and that gets me through a lot, but having to wait a week in between the nights I get to stay over is quite hard.

I'm going to cut this short now because I'm rambling and there's nothing I hate more.

This life is blessed, it always has been. I need to remember that on days when I really don't feel like doing what has to be done.

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